She Was Afraid

She was is afraid

Day 25 Health Activist Writers Month Challenge

I am behind – I’m almost always behind. Although up until the 24th I wasn’t behind. Big things happened on the 23rd that caused me to fall behind –

Day 25 Prompt: Third person post. Write about a memory you have but describe it using the third person. Use as many sensory images (sights, sounds, textures, etc) as you can. Don’t use “I” or “me” unless you include dialogue.

     She was alone when the package arrived. Her husband was off running a dozen errands. They knew it was coming and one of them had to be home to receive it. While waiting she picked up odds and ends scattered about the house – there are always odds and ends scattered around the house. She considered a nap but knew that as soon as she closed her eyes the UPS truck would arrive and the resident canines would begin barking like mad thus waking her from rest and forcing her to roll of the couch to answer the door. She was dreading the package but excited at the same time. Dishes done, floor swept, laundry folded. She considered starting dinner but after a long disappointing search in the fridge decided it would be a good night to eat out. She started the forth load of laundry of the day – how do five people create so much dirty laundry in a week? She remembered she hadn’t feed the dogs and grabbed for the bag of dog food, only it snagged on the dustpan and tore open scattering kibble across the floor – drats – dang dogs. Swept again. So much nervous energy.
     She picked up her copy of “The Book of Better” – too scatterbrained to read continuously she flipped through various chapters (there aren’t really chapters) laughing out loud at the illustrations – especially the one that depicts various mensroom type figures all(most) all with little bulges on the sides of their waist. Person with MP3 Player, Person with coin purse, Person with Cellphone, Person with pump (all identical illustrations) then the last one – person with chameleon (small silhouette of chameleon on the figures waste). She giggled aloud for the 10 time when seeing that illustration. The entire book is like that – great information mixed in with sarcasm and humor that she understands lives for.
     Still full of anxiety she puts the book aside and wanders aimlessly through the house. There is lots of work to be done; laundry to put away, dusting (who does that really), bathrooms to be cleaned, yard to pick up, files to organize (LOL), and so many more tasks that should be completed. The alert sounds – both dogs barking as if a a heard of squirrels were doing cartwheels outside the front window. The UPS truck hadn’t even come to a full stop yet. She opens the door, fusses at the dogs to quiet themselves and greats the UPS man with a warm while at the same time wanting to tell him to keep driving. She signs for the package – really she just scribbles – who actually signs?
     The package weighs remarkably less than she thought it would. It isn’t truly a package, just a cardboard envelope. The tab top begs her to pull it but she doesn’t. She calmly returns inside and sets the envelope upon the office desk with care one might think is meant for a highly volatile explosive. She texts her husband that the package has arrived. Can she open it? The reply is a NO. She expected that and honestly wouldn’t want to deprive her hubby from the thrill of opening it himself.
      He’s home. He says this is it and pulls open the cardboard tab. It stings her like a band aid being removed. He begins to read through the documents. The suspense is killing her and thankfully there are two copies. They read aloud and silently. Digesting the information. Her stomach is in nots. Excitement, anxiety, fear, sadness, and joy all at once welling inside her. It’s real, it’s really going to happen. She will be moving across the country to a new state, a new home, a new life, a new job, a new community a new everything.
      She imagines what the boys will think – Sweetness already knew (that child has ears everywhere). Sweetness is thrilled and has already been house shopping online. No time to think of everything that will be left behind. Hubby will leave in less than a week, Realtors will be calling, movers will be calling, the house will need to be made ready to sell, home searches will begin in the new state. Don’t tell anyone yet hubby says. She has friends she needs to tell, oh my how will she tell nurse? How will she tell the boys? It’s all happening so quickly. Sell the boys on the idea that they can learn to snow board in Tahoe – yes they will love that. Will Middles want to learn to surf? Are there sharks in the Bay Area? Who will the kids Endo be? Oh no did she hear once that CA doesn’t have nurses in the schools – what will she do? Who will watch out for the kids? Surely their are kids with diabetes in CA – they manage well right? Breathe.

    I struggled with an idea for this post. I assumed when I read the prompt back in early April I would write about Sugarboy’s diagnosis or Sweetstuff’s diagnosis – but Ive done that. I felt like there wasn’t any other big moments I could write about. Then this all came about. I didn’t decide to use it until tonight around 10pm. It is a huge life changing event for us. We are leaving everything we have known as a family. Yes I moved from WI to TX on my own but not really since the Air Force moved me, told me where to live, what to wear, when to eat, when to march, when to jump, when to run, etc. I didn’t have to think about any of it. Even when Chad and I left the service and moved a tad north it wasn’t a big deal. It was only 1.5 hours from where we were and Sweetstuff was only 6 months old. This move is huge. I have set up and joined a huge community of other parents of CWD, I have dozens of friends, I have my teaching degree for TX – can I transfer it easily to CA? My kids have all their friends, we have our school nurse who is more family than anything else. I have our pharmacist – just realized that tonight when I went to pick up test strips and Phillip was so kind to ask about the kids. We have a beautiful home (albeit cluttered and disorganized), and while my family doesn’t live in TX they don’t mind the 18 hour drive to visit us – I can’t see them jumping in a car to drive 36 hours to visit us in CA.

    There have been much better and more moving (well less actual moving) posts regarding this prompt. I’m almost embarrassed to share this one but this is huge for me. It has caused me a great deal of stress and joy at the same time. I can only imagine what it will do for my Sweetstuff and Sugarboy’s blood sugars once the For Sale sign is in the yard and the movers arrive to pack us up. What their sugars will be like starting a new school, making new friends, finding a place to fit in.

  The move is a good thing and will be wonderful for my family. This is not a pity post – it is a celebration but it is also a reality check. Stress is stress whether it is positive or negative and it effects blood sugars, sleeping patterns, appetite, and emotions. Keep calm and Move on

(ATTN Local friends that might find this via FB or stalking – my boys do not know we are moving yet – please do not share with your kiddos. I would hate for my boys to hear about it from anyone but me or Chad. Also, please do not be offended if you are a close friend and this is the first you are hearing about it. I have been an emotional mess and swamped with all that must be done so I have hermitized (is that a word) myself to stay focused. I will officially share the news with all my local peeps soon – after my boys know – dreading that conversation – thanks for understanding and keeping it on the down low.)

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