Spilt Coffee and Exploding Eggs

For the love of God someone please get me a magic bullet or a blender.

Yesterday I was thirsty and needed caffeine for a headache.

I was at Target. The target has a Starbucks.

I thought ‘cool’ Ill get a coffee. But I was thirsty and hot liquids aren’t good for thirst. Thus I ordered a blended coffee frap thing. I also ordered a cup of water – just tap water – no ice – I sucked that down while the guy made my frozen coffee. The guy handed me my frozen treat and I took a sip – delicious!

I left target and opened my driver’s side door. Sadly my beverage holders where all occupied with old pop cans and a travel mug (we shall not speak of this). I set my tasty treat on the edge of my van next to the seat nearest the door. I left the door open. Then I turned to put my groceries in the back seat.

You know whats coming but let me finish.

The darn wind blew my driver’s side door closed. I heard a crunch.

I opened the door to find my tasty treat safe and sound except the cup a little squished. I bent to pick it up and in that split second it crashed to ground – upside down. All my frozen coffee goodness was splattered on the pavement. I won’t lie – for a nano second I considered pulling a Joey from friends and scooping the top of the frozen pile back into my cup. Don’t worry I didn’t.

Fast forward to just 10 minutes ago. I was thirsty. I need caffeine. I don’t want a hot beverage. I thought – shoot I can make a blended coffee – no problem.

I poured left over morning coffee into a 6 inch high Braun cup (the same one I use to make smoothies). I added a dash of sugar and a splash of milk. Then I added a hand full of ice cubes.

I put the Braun mixer wand into the cup and envisioned the tasty treat I was about to enjoy.

I pressed the button to begin the sweet blending process.

My counter and wall are now covered in sticky coffee with a side of milk.

Clearly I am not at my best today.

*early today I exploded two hard-boiled eggs in the microwave. Do not try to reheat hard-boiled eggs (even if they are peeled) in the microwave – I had egg shrapnel everywhere.

*please do not send me a blender or magic bullet unless your name is Chad and you love me.

This is what happens when I stay up till after 3am and get up at 6:30.

11 thoughts on “Spilt Coffee and Exploding Eggs

  1. The visuals on all of this truly have me laughing.. but MAN do I feel ya. I hate those days when I need coffee before I can even MAKE the coffee.


    1. I don’t know whats worse – the cost of so much wasted coffee, the lack of coffee to consume, or the mess I had to clean up. I think the combination was just too much for my brain that day. Luckily the days since have been uneventful – mostly.


  2. What if you have a different Chad out there that does love you? What if I change my name to Chad for a week, granted I like you a lot. Don’t know if I love you yet.


  3. Christina, Thank you so much for visiting my blog, Chronicles Of A Dystonia Muse. I well know those kinds of days, when nothing seems to go right. If it’s any consolation, I’m an inveterate tea kettle burner, I always seem to forget to pull down that whistle. -Pamela-


    1. You write well and provide great information and stories. Been there done that with the tea kettle. That habit ended eventually because I never seem to have time to wait for the kettle so I just microwave water. (my British friends are cringing right now) I added your blog to my blog roll (don’t get too excited I don’t have a whole lot of readers – but its there and if a few people click it and learn Im happy) Loved your ‘Show Up for the PArty” post. See ya around the blogosphere. Cheers.


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