Not Enough time in the day or energy in my body.
I started this blog because I wanted a place to share my thoughts and feelings regarding all that goes with being a parent of a child with diabetes. The thing is I’m not ONLY a parent of children with diabetes. I am also just a parent, wife, substitute teacher, volunteer, home maker, pet owner, PTA member, friend and daughter, and sister.
Juggling all my hats isn’t always easy but is much the same for all parents with and without children with special needs. A special shout out to all those that fit all the above categories and work full time outside the home. I love what I do and I love my life. I wouldn’t change a thing except to one day have a cure for diabetes – I would gladly hang that hat up.
I celebrate success when I stop long enough to notice it. Mostly I feel I am skating by, doing my best but always coming up short. As a parent of children with diabetes I know there is always more to learn. I should be doing more basal testing with the kids to tweak basal rates – a fabulous feature of using a pump. In fact for the last week I have seen near perfect numbers for my dd at the 2 or 3am checks but she wakes up in the low 200’s – thus a basal tweak between 3 and 6am should be done. Why haven’t I done it – because between the time I wake kids up, feed them breakfast, pack lunches, write carb count notes, get kids off to school, toss in a loud or two of laundry, go to work myself, run by the grocery store, fix a dinner (usually forgetting to add green veggies), help with homework, fight about showers, spend some time with my dear husband, reply to various emails regarding volunteer work, PTA stuff, clean the toilets, feed the pets, fold laundry (usually never put it away – it sits in baskets at the top of the stairs), check in with my own mom and dad – weekly, wash dishes, etc etc etc – I forget to download the pumps and make adjustments to basal rates, carb ratios, and correction factors. I try at least once in between quarterly endo appointments to download and make corrections rather than waiting for the Endo to suggest them. This too I know I fail at since I know of many parents and patience that download their pumps and meters weekly and some that keep written logbooks. It is knowing of those awesome parents and patients that I slip into the feeling of always being behind the curve.
I read a handful of blogs by parents of cwd or written by Type 1 diabetics themselves. Up till recently I never “subscribed” to any of them or “followed” any of them. I was a casual visitor where I would catch up on a couple weeks worth of posts late at night while waiting on a blood sugar to be in a good range that I felt comfortable going to bed. I would read blogs in which the author would be upset about a blood sugar in the low 200’s and I would think – oh good Lord what would the author think of the low 400’s my daughter ran for half a day until we figured out a bad site. What would they think of the spikes that the kids get all the time because I am not always around to insist on a dose at least 10 minutes prior to eating – thus they will wait to dose until after they have eaten 60 grams of carbs causing a number in the upper 300s two hours after eating. So my new resolution is to actually subscribe the the blogs/tweets of the people I admire the most in the DOC (diabetes online community) – that way I will get emails when they blog or tweet – thus causing me to be thinking more often about how I can be better with diabetes care and in turn help teach my kids to be better – more diligent at least.
Now if I could just stop time long enough to get a cardio work out in –
Notice there is no entry for exercise. I know I need to exercise. I recently found the power cord for my elliptical (it was lost for nearly 2 years when we replaced the carpet upstairs – I didn’t know it was missing all that time because I hadn’t even thought to get on the elliptical until Jan 1st hit and the whole New Years Resolution thing kicked in.) The power cord was found almost a month ago but I have yet to get on the elliptical. I just can’t figure out when I would get on it. I have friends that go to the gym at 5am and make it home to wake up their kids in time to get them ready for school. That won’t be me – I cherish every minute of sleep I can fit in between midnight and 3am and then 3am to 5:30am. Giving up even those 30 minutes between 5 and 5:30 would be torture. I think the negative effects of sleep deprivation would out weigh the positive effects of a cardio workout. I know exercise is important and would lower my stress levels, help me sleep more restfully when I do sleep, and just make me happy. It’s just finding that time.
wow what a wall of text – sorry